Ode to Jerome - (to be sung to the tune of Wild Rover)

I rule monopoly, I'll crush you you're weak,
And I sound like a horse when I'm taking a leak.
And I love the ladies
And the ladies love me
Perhaps they have heard me while having a wee.

Well some of my friends say that I look like Shrek,
Or a fat Eminem but do I give a feck?
Cos I love big trainers
Big, silver and loud
Oh I love big trainers, of big trainers I'm proud.

Now I've taken to wearing three hats at a time,
A baseball, a beanie and hood ev'n inside,
But I'm not adolescent,
Not adolescent no more,
But I'll get me a skateboard so that I can wear four.