Yeah, but...

... you can't say that right Marv, cause you don't know nuffin, so shuttup! Anyway, what happened right was that you know Tom and Anna? Well they found a tampon in the toilets in The Hare and so Anna put it in Jerome's jacket pocket and he like completely had an eppy and turned up to Clare's party with a pen knife that he nicked from his Dad's shed and stabbed big Dan. But anyway Helen gave Jerome a blowy in the kitchen for a bite of his Cornetto. Anyway I didn't do nuffin because I was with Ann the whole time because she was crying because you know Dave? Well he was supposed to be goin down the park with her to go to third base. But anyway Jerome, who I once got off with as a joke, nicked a whole bottle of Remy Martin off Tom's mum and hid it in the woods behind The Hare but then he couldn’t find it, but then he did find it, but then he didn’t like it so he threw it at a family of gypos.