Sure as Eggs is Eggs

Jerome used to claim to be allergic to dairy produce.

We both got very drunk a few years ago, and were playing poker at about 5am. Jerome demanded food. I cooked him a cheese omlette. He scoffed the lot and demanded more.

***LEGAL DISCLAIMER***

His face would have swollen, and his hair would have fallen out anyway.

That last sentence was very harsh, and I apologise. I am after all very fat and am in no place to criticise.