2 years of blogging

Jerome's blog is two years old. It is very kind of me to write it for him.

Jerome's gym regime is going well. He is giving up drinking and going to the gym instead. He has lost some weight. He is eating nice food too, like cottage pie and other tasty stuff. But he is binge drinking at weekends, before you think he's lost his personality.

The diet will make him dungaree fit. At the moment he can't wear his dungarees because they are unflattering but when he's a trim love god he'll be able to wear them. Which leads me to wonder if this diet is really a good idea.

Power

After this weekend, I can say with complete confidence that Jerome can charm any lady, young, old, or feline.

Play on words

I spent the weekend with Jerome, so I have lots of new material for his blog. He got very, very, very drunk at G and P's party, and was chatting to a group of bonkers neighbours. They were playing with a mobile phone. We could see into the Mind of Jerome. It was surreal and frightening. My brother fell asleep under his hat to escape.

"I'm very impatient," said one friend to Jerome, clicking through the menus at breakneck speed.
"Blimey, love, you're the most impatient person I've ever met," slurred Jerome. "Is your husband's name Thomas Ollerance?"
The conversation continued without this gem getting the recognition it deserves. I think Jerome deserves some credit for coming up with this after drinking vast amounts of lager and lime and some very large vodka and cokes.

Comparisons are odious

This afternoon, I was idly flicking through the TV channels when I happened to come across a programme called "Competitive Teenager". This featured an adolescent wearign a bright yellow track suit and sporting lots of curly hair. Said youth went into a cafe, sat next to an old lady and decided that whoever drank their drink first would WIN. Of course the youth "won" and celebrated in the way young people do these days.

Dungarees down!

Jerome has some dungarees. They don't suit him and they look like htey are about to fall down. He has been in Moorhensroad corrupting my little brother.

The search for content reaches new heights of desperation

Here's a fun little game for the readers of Jeorme's blog. This meme has been going round, so I am going to answer it for Jerome...friends of Jerome please help me as I won't know all the answers.

What time did you get up this morning? 5 am and drove from Derby to Penzance and back, stopping for only one wee due to my superior bladder control.

2. Diamonds or Pearls?
Diamonds. I'm a classy kind of guy.

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
Don't know.

4. What is your favorite TV show? Torn between Sport and Porn.

5. What did you have for breakfast? Cereal?

6. What is your middle name? Douglas

7. What is your favorite cuisine? Posh French?

8. What foods do you dislike?
Egg.

9. Your favorite Potato chip?
I'm guessing Monster Munhc.

10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? jEROME mentioned Athlete and Snow Patrol.

11. What kind of car do you drive? I've sold my car. I borrow my friends' cars.

12. Favorite sandwich? Tuna, obviously.

13. What characteristics do you despise?
Weakness. Weaklings will be crushed.

14. What are your favorite clothes?
I have written a long post about Jerome's clothes. Anything with O'Neill onit.

15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation? An exotic destination.

16. Where WOULDN'T you go?
On holiday? Didcot.

17. Favorite brand of clothing? O'Neill, as above.

18. Where would you want to retire to?
The village I grew up in. I would run one of the pubs and make stacks of money.

19. Favorite time of day?
Probably late at night pissed.

20.Where were you born? Stroud.

21. What is your favorite sport to watch? nude ladies wrestling?

22. Who do you think will not link to this meme?
Dan because he is the most unreliable person I know.

23. Person you expect to send it back first?
Marv cos she's sad.

24. Pepsi or Coke?
I am sure Jerome will have a very definite view on this so I wont presume.

25. Beavers or Ducks? Beavers

26. Are you a morning person or night owl?
Jerome is both.

27. Pedicure or Manicure?
Pedicure. It has to be. (insert cruel joke of your choice here)

28. Favorite food to order out at a restaurant?
Crispy duck?

29. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with everyone? I'm having a party!

30. How many times have you really been in love?
I think Jerome has been in love three times. I hope we don't have to refer to the infamous List (with comments)

32. What is your best childhood memory?
Hiding Marv's teddies in sleeping bags and making her cry was definitely a highlight. I hope Jeorme has something better to offer, tho.

33. Favorite movie?
It used to be Baz Lurhman's Romeo and Juliet. I think Jerome sees himself as Mercutio.

34. Do you have a Will?
No. I'm guessing.

35. Piercings?
Ear and belly button. I think that's it.

36. Ever been to Africa?
NO.

38. Been in a car accident?
Yes, bashed into a parked car in London.

39. Favorite day of the week?
pass on this

40. Favorite restaurant?
That's too hard. Jerome loves eating out. Myabe Bank. He likes lobster though.

41. Favorite flower?
No idea. Rose?

42. Favorite ice cream?
Does Jerome like ice cream?

43. Favorite fast food restaurant?
KFC?

44. What is your dream job?
I dread to think. Emperor of the World.

45. From whom did you get your last e-mail?


46. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
O'Neill?

47. Bedtime?
Probably midnight in the week and never at weekends.

48. Last person you went to dinner with?
Dont'k now.

49. What are you listening to right now?
Not folk.

50. What is your favorite color?
Red.

51. How many tattoos do you have?
1 - a jester's hat on my shoulder

52. What time did you finish this?
fivce past eight

53. Favorite magazine?
FHM

Party parabola

The party season has opened at Casajacks.

You can say many things for and against the mighty Jerome, but there is no doubt that he knows how to throw a good party.