Authentic Jerome content unlikely for the forseeable.

Jerome's computer is covered in spyware and won't switch on. James has promised to mend it.

Jerome's Eurovision adventure

James and Jerome enjoyed themselves very much last weekend watching the Eurovision Song contest. Jerome become Swiss for the night because, after some debate, he decided that "four honeys in a band are better than one honey in a band". Having decided to be Swiss, he used his amazing gambling brain to work out how many points the Swiss needed to stay in the lead as soon as the judges called their results.

James studied the lovely ladies with more interest than usual, spurred on by an intoxicating combination of beer and Jerome. He thought the Israeli lady was rather talented.

Apologies.

Sorry Jerome, I'm as fooked as a bucket, and the previous post seemed amusing to my alcholically swiss cheesed mind. Phone me you anti-social get.

Jack Francis - The Special Advert

This advvertisment is brought to you by a cider-induced gibber, please do not be alarmed. Some readers may find the contents of this advert offensive, and it has therefore been given an 18 rating.

Cough, cough.

Cheeky, round-faced, gap-toothed comedian (not W/E) seeks a bird so he can 'jac'-in-er-box. Mingers may apply, but will only be considered if criminally deviant. Please send colour photo of kebab to sheedgeddit@myproblemsinhand.com. X.

Why Spurs Rule

Why Spurs rule, not by Marv


Here is a rather dull post by James's good friend Mike Nawrocki explaining why Spurs rule. But Jerome will find it interesting and since I am a selfless nearly sister and friend, I have copied it from Mike's blog for Jerome's pleasure. Jerome, enjoy!

SPURS RULE part 2387


Anyone following the Spurs/Sonics series remotely closely has been subjected to stories of Ray Allen (a Seattle guard) complaining about the rough play of Spurs' defensive specialist Bruce Bowen. Hell, Allen's been crying about Bruce for two years now.

Well, his pissing and moaning paid off, sort of, as the refs called five fouls on Bowen last night and he played only 17 of 48 minutes.

The result? Spurs win by 18.

And here's my point. Allen is the leader of the Sonics, and no team will ever get anywhere with a leader like him. He has spent the last week chirping about Bruce Bowen, but hardly mentioned the 11 other guys on the Spurs. So the message he sent to his team is "this series about how Bruce Bowen guards me."

Bullshit. It's about how your 12 guys match-up against the Spurs' 12. Bowen was taken out of the game last night. So you got what you wanted, Ray Allen, and you got run out of the gym. Cliches have staying power because they are true, like the cliche, "basketball is a team game."

What has bothered me about this entire Bruce Bowen vs. Ray Allen drama is that not one person from the Seattle, San Antonio, or national media outlets has called Ray Allen out on any of this. There's been a lot of "Is Bruce Bowen a dirty player or not?" chatter, but no one, to my knowledge has asked, "Is Ray Allen being a selfish by focusing only on how Bruce Bowen plays him too rough?"

Maybe in Ray Allen's world he won last night's game: Ray Allen 25 points, Bruce Bowen 2 points. But the real score would actually be Ray Allen 25, Spurs 108.

Michael Jordan. Larry Bird. Hakeem Olajuwan. Magic Johnson. Tim Duncan. Those are true leaders. I challenge anyone to find me one occasion where any of those guys spent three fucking days bitching about one player, let alone two years.

This is why, as pretty as Ray Allen is to watch, he'll be in as memorable as Tom Chambers and Dan Majerle when his career is over. Never heard of or forgot about those guys? My point exactly.

Go Spurs Go

Why Marv knows who Dennis Rodman is

Some years ago, the BBC televised Pride and Prejudice. You may remember it starred Jennifer Ehle and Colin Firth. My mum and I both thought Mr Darcy was rather dashing, and when the Radio Times printed a Mr Darcy pinup for swooning housewives throughout the land, naturally we cut him out and put him on our kitchen noticeboard.

One day, another picture appeared, pinned over Mr Darcy. It was Dennis Rodman, sporting pillar box red hair and lots of gold jewellery (the word bling hadn't been invented then).

So I know who Dennis Rodman is. He is much less attractive than Mr Darcy and I wouldn't even turn my head to see him take his shirt off and jump into a lake.

Why Spurs Rule, by Mike Nawrocki

Jerome, here is a new friend for you to add to your A list. His name is Mike Nawrocki and he is Matt's oldest friend. They grew up together in Texas. Mike is a San Antonio Spurs fan and I am hoping that he will explain why Spurs rule and why you are completely wrong to say that they are rubbish.

Go Spurs! Go Spurs!

Jerome v Trinny - who'd win?

I haven't seen Jerome for a while, so I will have to waffle on until I think of some Jerome-related content or think of an amusing Jerome anecdote. Nothing springs to mind.

I think he would have liked the band I saw last night; they were pretty manic and wild.

Kelly Brook tops the FHM 100 Sexiest Women. It might be fun to test Jerome's knowledge of this important publication. No doubt he has spent many hours studying it. Jerome has always been a great admirer of female beauty.

Oh, here's a good fact. Jerome fancies Trinny from Trinny and Susannah. So perhaps we should send him on What Not to Wear and rename it Clash of the Titans. What great television it would make! Trinny bans Rodman shirts! Trinny forbids trainers! Trinny says no to men's capri pants! Jerome fights back!

Actually I suspect he'd really enjoy the whole experience. He'd probably charm them to death, do exactly what they wanted to earn the clothes and then return to his baggy jersey shorts and Rodman shirt.

This is all theoretical. I would never send anyone, even Jerome, who would cope better than most, into the hands of those two witches.